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[maric]

First entry? Maric, intersex/trans and can't wait to get help with this stuff. I already had a lot but just a little more.

Comments

[whisperingvoid]

How many times do you have to be asked to leave before it sticks?

[maric]

Here's the fun part. You're from insanejournal, a police officer and you're trying to isolate me from making friends on IJ/DW because you paid for me. o_o Perry. Leave. Me. The. Fuck. Alone. You. Don't. Get. Me. Sickening Fat Fuck. Have fun at Ryslig and stop inviting your IJ friends over here to tell me off. You're so fucking disgustingly obsessed with me, it's not even funny. Get yourself some therapy and leave me alone. I don't want to cannibalize or be cannibalize. I'm also a man, you fucking idiot. Now, leave my head alone and get bent, shithead.

[whisperingvoid]

Aw that's cute I get to be part of your internal fantasy, but no, I'm afraid not. Though now I'm dreadfully curious what your beef is with Ryslig?

What really strikes me as funny is how disgustingly manipulative you're being. "Oh, the Gay Mafia(tm) doesn't want me to play, so if I become them they have to let me in!" Nah fam it doesn't work that way. You have been banned for reasons explained to you numerous times.

You're the problem. Your behavior is the problem. Your inability to work genuinely with other people is the problem. And your lying is the problem.

Get out.

To steal one of your methods... P.S.: Funny how someone who claims to be so righteous and holy with their God can simultaneously be so incredibly vulgar.

[sunflowerofthevalley]

I was always a transman. I have been this whole time.

The Gay Mafia doesn't have clot like they used to. I'm sorry to tell you, but I'm not part of the gay mafia. I'm trans/intersex. You know why? We're not gay. =) I'm not a child molester. Or a cannibal. Or anything else that's bad.

No. You're the problem. Ryslig is a creepy fucking game and you know why.

Don't worry. I will, but guess what?

Here's the fun part. You don't know me but I know you.

https://i.postimg.cc/BvxJj6SM/caf21adf88f42c70a8e62892136e0cf7.jpg

Let me explain, you were anointed, God approved of you as my husband. The picture even glowed. Call me schizophrenic, I do need a little help on my medications but otherwise, I'm good. You were being a ass and keeping me out of games. I was trying to protect you and everyone else. Eric. My journal entries may have been scaring people, but dude, that game was freaking them out more than I was.

People were getting too into it. End of story.

I'm crazy but did the moon finally come back?

[whisperingvoid]

But wait! As I recall "they" tried to convince you you were through mind magic, but you were a woman all along! So which is the lie, Mandy? I'm thinking all of it.

This entire response is sheer insanity, are you incapable of following a conversation thread?

Ryslig is a horror game, that's the point.

Random pictures of pasty white dudes taken from google searches are not convincing evidence.


But let's get to the real point here. You're abusive. You're manipulative, and a complete piece of shit. There is no conspiracy to keep you out of games, only people who genuinely want nothing to do with you. You've been asked to leave. You've been removed. You keep coming back.

Why is it when others ask you to leave you ignore their request? Why are you incapable of accountability? Leave us alone and get some help. You're not wanted here.

[sunflowerofthevalley]

o_o Mind magic? Mmmhmm. The funny thing, it isn't a lie.

lol You're good at sprouting bullshit and sounding convincing. You started the insanejournal bull, didn't you? Starting trouble with straight people who try to make games that curb homosexuality. It's sad you're like this, because you know I want a penis and you want a cunt boy. You forced me on estrogen, when I am a man.

Cole, buddy. Listen to me. You are. You fucked up my head so I wouldn't be the man I'm supposed to be. You know what you've done. You're the manipulative, abusive, controlling, narcisstic, spec of nothing. At least waste has a purpose, it creates, makes things grow. What if your reality was different from mine? My reality exists, yours doesn't. Do you understand?

There were was a truth here, now they're gone.

*stares.* You shouldn't have put me on estrogen. I was a man who loved women and men. I still am. I'll be going on testerone as soon as moneys available. Do you understand?

There is a conspiracy, you wasted all your clot to put me in the ground and make me a woman. I loved someone as a man loves a man, you homodumbass. Now I'm getting off the damn internet and letting you do the damn thingum. Bye.

I wanted you safe. *sighs, flops Squall style.* Idjit. *disappears into the void.*

[sunflowerofthevalley]

Please stop doing this to straight people now. Let them roleplay. You're hurting your chances at paradise. It makes me sad you don't understand, we have to co-exist as people. You're trying to make an all gay world, that my father does not approve of. We need both straights and gays to a point. Please understand. If you keep this up, heavenly father won't give you paradise. His original intention is being fought against and the earthly governments will start ruling the internet with an iron fist. We've been telling you for years, stop. Please stop. Please. Be good children now. Okay?

[whisperingvoid]

Joke's on you I don't even play on InsaneJournal.

Am I Cole or am I Perry?

Once again you deflect with projection and confusion. Redefining terms to fit your own narrative. My reality can be objectively observed by third parties, how about yours?

Here you are claiming you accept the LGBT, and that you don't. Which is it? You can't have both.

But more importantly you've dodged my question. You've been told to leave, and forcibly removed numerous times. Why do you keep sneaking back?

[maric]

Denise has never removed me. Have you ever thought I was helping? o_o

[whisperingvoid]

I am, without even the slightest shadow of a doubt, absolutely certain you are not helping. Yourself, or anyone else.

You are, however, hilarious to rubberneck at. A delightful trainwreck.

[maric]

Dear Rhonda Trepe,
I know what I'm doing, ma'am. Stop and leave me alone. We got this. Also, I won Squall fair and Square, Instructor Dumb. I'm distracting my damn self. I'm scared of shaking. And also, the old where I'm at, have the itchitis. I'm scared of the old. <_<

[whisperingvoid]

You can't even decide who I am. I'm starting to think you're only getting worse.


No, Mandy, leave us alone at Dreamwidth and InsaneJournal. You're not wanted, go away.

Why do you keep coming back?

[maric]

Dear Stephanie,
Listen to me. I'm not you and you're not me. You, my sister, Eric Henson and my mother stole my personality. I used to be a happy bubbly and outgoing guy like Zack Fair. I was a goofball. For some reason I stopped being a man like I had been most of my life and became an emotionless twat for some reason. Why? Were you making sure that happened? All I did was laugh at things and feel nothing. I couldn't even fall in love.

I'm an INFJ/EMPATH. So people often steal my personalities and try to make me the shell of a person I used to be. I'll post videos now. I'm so sad for old friends and family that want to do this to me. I've been put in the hospital several times and told I'm experiencing psychosis, when I'm sound of mind.

*hangs head.* I'm sorry for being in everyone's heads. I don't know why I am. It's driving me nuts, no one will shut up. I don't think I'm jesus, or God, but everyone's imitating me like I am. u.u People drain me of my emotions, so no one finds out I'm a living breathing person who thinks, feels and has hobbies. People tried killing my spirit several times over. I've tried having hobbies, but for some reason I can't muster up the energy to do them.

Stephanie, baby. I love you. Please stop doing this to me and yourself. Please? You're not emotionless, you were just kinda ornery. You need professional help and therapy. Medicine, find yourself. You were quiet, shy, backwards, a book worm. I was outgoing, flirty, loud, goofy. The only difference here is you became a soldier and I became a secret police officer. You broke down my heart, my soul, my spirit and stole my personality.

You put people in my head using spiritism. Your mom did it before the fiasco of 2008/2009 where I was forced to cause trouble online. Meeting your satanic family was the worst thing that ever happened to me. Eric Henson. You're soul is and face is a beautiful thing, try and change. Okay? Be yourself. Find yourself. Go on a journey. I want to be myself again. I want to be a man again, and be my damn self.

I love the name Eric mostly because of the little mermaid. My bestfriend Fell at the time brought up a way for me to keep my name without fully changing it from Mandy. I said I need a compound name or something like hat, she said what about Eric! I said no, I knew an Eric. She said What about Mandy and Eric, Maric. I didn't even bat an eye, I hadn't had a crush on you since 3rd grade. so I said I love Maric! That's pretty neat.

So I started living as a boy. Even so, before then, noted something sad. YOu were in my head all the time. I would go a long time without thinking of you, and would end up thinking of having sex with you at random. I didn't think of sex like that. I'd be like where did that come.

Also, do you know why I told you I love you that day? On the phone? And started crying? Girls were planning on turning you into a town bicycle. You were the prettiest boy there, and no one cared about your intelligence like I did. You were my bestfriend, in m heart. I wanted to be your fake girlfriend in order to keep girls from raping you basically. We were part of a military town and everyone knew military telepathy. I knew it too, I was a powerful little mentalist and I wanted to protect you. I love dyou so much, you were like my brother. I knew what you were going through at home. I cared deeply. I still do to a point.

You have to stop this now. I love you. Stop destroying my life. Let me get up and walk, let me get up and piss, let me get up and run around.

I love your face, because you're you. Yuo're you now, but please exit my head and continue being you. Try being a bookworm again, among other things.
Let me lose weight. Let me be a boy. We part now. I'll miss you. I love you. You're my bestfriend. I did this so you could cope with your family's evil bullshit. Don't die, keep getting help. You can change.

Fiona. Get the fuck away from us, I'm hoping we can cuddle at least someday. He may not want me big, but I'm his mom from now on. You fucking evil twat. I hate you. You're a disgusting human being.

Eric. Come live with me, come home. Stop being homeless if you are. You're not what your mother said. You're nothing like your father. I promise, you're a beter and beautiful man. You're not a serial killer, as far as I know. I've looked into your eyes, and I've seen pain, not a man who wants to kill. I don't care if you were part of the military or not, I have been too. We've done some heinous shit. I've cried over it.

Don't kill yourself. You're my person. Okay? We don't have to have sex or anything. You're my best bud. Okay, big buddy?

Give my mom, Rhonda, a hug. We had to save you. We love you so much. You always felt like part of the family. Come make me Amanda Henson, I'll stay a girl for you if that's what you want. And if you're with anyone, it's okay, I'll back off. I just want you okay, baby. <3 Okay?

[maric]

I'm Jesus you fucking idiot. This is why you're so beautiful. I'm done now. Bye, you arrogant little shit. I tried changing you, I tried.

I started protecting you when you were little. Do you understand? I wanted you safe, but you're isolating me for some reason. GUESS WHAT YOUR THOUGHTS ARE? "AFTER I EAT YOU. I'LL GLOW JUST LIKE YOU.' Fuck you, you're denounced. You were never my son. You photoshop you little shit. Take that damn game down now and stop hunting humans on insane and dreamwidth. You and your idiot brother.

I no longer trust Hollywood. Let me explain; they keep making it look like you glow in interviews and stuff. Some of you want to share my flesh like a fucking Saturday night dinner. You're fucking creepy. I tried changing you but it's not working.

[maric]

Jensen: Jared. Thanks. Hahahaha. HAAAAAAAAA!

Jared: You're like the most beautiful guy ever, your face is like an angel's. So anyway.

Jensen: Really? Okay. Do you want to eat my face? Because I think you do.

Jared: What? No. Fuck you, man. I ..uh I want to I gotta go man.

Jensen: Why does no one want to eat my face? I hate my face.

Audrian. Take down Ryslig. And stop doing celebrity rp. They hate you for this. You're fucking weird for wanting these two to die and cannibalize each other. You watched too much Supernatural and that was a creepy episode. Stop it now. Take it down. I'm telling you to cease and desist.

Is this a damn fanfic about us? Because it never happened. o_o You're not eating my face. It'll never happen.

Oh, if I ever ended up with Jared or Jensen. You were going to make them eat my face? Is that it?

One more thing. JARED AND JENSEN ACKLES; You will never sell me into a virgin snuff ring. Know what that is? I would have been Hollywood's whore. You're being warned to leave me alone. the people of dreamwidth, I wanted to be safe away from that game and wanted you all most importantly safe too. Know why? Hollywood is scared. Do you understand? You're scaring them. Not everyone in Hollywood is a cannibal, but a select few are and they're nuts.

Basically Jensen and Jared overspend their moola and thought if I loved the show so much, Jesus will get cannibalized for me. Guess what? Jesus sees you as disgusting. 80 million dollars? Really? You owe me that. This is not blackmail, but you sold me to my cousin Perry. WHO IS A FUCKING CANNIBAL AND HE WON'T LEAVE THE FACILITY! DO YOU UNDERSTAND!?

I'm so fucking angry. I'm being uneloquent for a reason. Everyone I have tried to help in round about ways has turned against me but a few. You're all mad. All of you. You're crazy. You're all sick.

You have the chronovirus. I do too. Good luck.

[maric]

In the end. My grandma made me eat my own penis when I was a fucking toddler, and my cousin, who I will not name made me eat my clit. I'm intersex, you idiots. I still have nerve endings, but I don't want sex at all because of this shit. I was trying to get help to get away from my fucking family and I was sold to my fucking cousin, Perry. I want away from my family. I'm tired of this shit. I was trying to get help for all of us, including me.

I was forced to denounce gays and lesbians, forced to be a woman. I was forced to be a confused idiot for years. I knew I was a man, but they wouldn't let me be. On T I would be stronger and would put up a fight. Do you understand? They wanted me to be depowered so I never joined the military like I wanted to and become strong against my family and other people who wanted to hurt me. My cousin Perry wanted me to join to protect me and so I could protect him and myself. I'm actually a police officer. Now you know.

We're pretty much Zack and Squall. I don't believe I'm a character though. Do you understand?

[maric]

My Uncle Gene Grymm wanted to eat me. He's my two cousins father. We all glowed. you know how we glowed? While we were in the womb. Guess what? Their moms lied. They just wanted clot. My mom was scared when I glowed. You know why? She knew who I was. Not the antichrist, but an angel. I think I'm jesus, but not really. I'm just an angel that came down to help. Jesus is preparing for war with humanity that doesn't listen.

Audrian made me a police officer, so I could help myself get free. I'm okay, I promise. Now you know, Audrian wanted me to lose weight so I could join the military. Perry is a fucking cannibal because of his idiot father and he's in the military.

During this process, Zack, Seifer and Squall fell in love instead. It's just the truth. We had to save my life and get help for others. Zack, Seifer and Squall are bestfriends.

NOW TRUTH; Audrian good boy. Perry good boy. Maric/Mandy good boy. Leave us alone. We're all a little gay. Just sayin. We're good guys. Leave us alone and stop assuming I caused trouble to hurt gays. Sheesh internet, you stupid.

This facility is an asshole too because they were supposed to protect and take care of me, and they are but all they did was complain about me needing help and peeing the bed. Why? Because I took hadol for three months and it messed up my motorfunctions. I'm getting better everyday though. So oh well.

EUROPE IS A CANNIBAL. BYE.

Also, now you know my life. :D I'm not crazy, just insane. I think if insanejournal wants me back, I'll go put my games over there. Long as they want me. *Zack please face.*

[maric]

MEXICO IS FULL OF SEXUAL DEVIANTS OF ADULTS. AND GOOD LOOKING PEOPLE.

Nah, they're cannibals.

[maric]

Zack, Cloud and Squall love each other. Get over it. They're my little buddies. <3 HAHAHAHA. STOP MAKING FUN OF CLOUD/STEPHANIE. >=( They want to roleplay, I want to roleplay, and so does Squall. We don't think we're the characters, they're online aliases damn it. To protect ourselves. I'm still a transman. I want everything to be okay for all of us. Anyway, I'm done. *puts foot in bucket and walks away.*

*cheeky grin.* Bye Deb.

One more thing; Stephanie got the help she needed. Stop fucking with her reputation. I've been her psychologist for years, plus other people. She's just having fun. You're pissing in her cheerios for no reason.

[maric]

Zack and Zack and Zack fell in love. BOOO BITCH. We just don't fuck in the costumes. We're narcs, omgosh. Let that person be themselves. Sheesh. I'm Maric. End of Story. Byyyyyye.

[maric]

Seifer, Zack, Cloud and Squall fell in love. Tee-Hee. BITCH.

[maric]

John and Perry = Zack and Squall. Maric and Debz = Seifer and Cloud. Just sayin.

[maric]

ONE MORE THING; AUDRIAN = NOCTIS! Also our fifth and final form. Mexican Noctis, often mistaken for Asian Noctis.

NOCTIS, SEIFER, ZACK, SQUALL AND CLOUD FELL IN LOVE! Zack, Squall and Cloud are actually Noctis, and Selphie's boy guards. I might have to dye my hair blonde. Biotch. I'm done now, fucking hell. So done. Whew. I'm done.

Sometimes friends fall in love, we don't all have sex or anything. =/ Shhh. Idiots.

LET's CONFUSE YOU ONE MORE TIME; Seifer = Eric. :P Deal. They're our body guards, whooo. *Selphie fist pump.*

DELITA FROM FFT = Justin.

I'm also Axel. Got it memorized? I just wanted to see my little buddies. I missed them. You get it? I also wanted to protect people. I'm Axel, man.

Know why I'm doing this? Because I'm crazy I guess. Toodles!

[whisperingvoid]

Have you worn yourself out yet? I was enjoying my collection of notifications. Very impressive! Good job.

However, you still haven't answered my question:

Why, when you've been blanket banned and blacklisted, told time and again in no uncertain terms to leave, do you keep coming back? Why do you want the attention of people who want nothing to do with you so badly that you'll change your identity to try to slip in unnoticed?

As though you were even remotely capable of subtlety.

[maric]

Because I give a shit about the world. I also want to fucking roleplay. I'm nothing but courteous, polite and kind. I had to be discreet about supporting gays and the intersex for awhile, but people are being assholes for some reason. Tell me why? Was it the Rabbit Hearted Lions game? Because thats' where the trouble started with people jumping on my disco stick and getting angry with me.

If they think I'm going to preach. I doubt it. I'll do it in this journal sometimes, but mostly my characters don't talk about being God-Fearing. I've always been that way. I don't shove the bible down anyone's throat, despite my sorta kinda status. Because people have free will, and will do as they want. If they decide to change for the heavenly father, up to them. What I've been saying all along.

Now if I get into a deep philisphoical conversation, spiritual conversation with a person ooc and one on one, then yes I'll discuss the logistics with someone interested and even debate the truth of God, and Jesus Christ. Then so be it. We'll have a lot of fun and I'll still love you despite any disagreeance. Understood?

Stop being scared of God, Gay community and Trans/Intersex community. Please. Stop being scared of Dad upstairs, okay? He loves you. I promise. He answers your prayers more than you think.


I might be Christ. But Dad upstairs is the ultimate Christ. At the end of the day, we follow the Christ and pick up our torture stakes. In affect we all become messengers of God and help change humanity with love, and spiritualness. Do you understand? It's important that we accept God's messages of love, and try to change anything he wants us to change but at the end of the day, he loves us too and wants us to be happy. do you understand? This is why Christ came the first time, and the second coming, to express that God's need to be more lenient towards humanity so we would be less stressed. Let me explain; read the bible and see what Christ was trying to say.

See, I preached but that's in my journal. No where else. Sometimes we have rules, do you get me? It's important that we do. God's laws for life help. Stop being angry at me for that game. Stop. You'll understand later why I made it that way, I was proving something to some people that it wasn't going to fly with anyone. Gays were actually trying to help, because they were JW's who were studying.

[whisperingvoid]

Right. This sounds like it might be a genuine question so I will attempt to give you a genuine answer:

Your problems started with rabbit hearted lions not because people were worried about you preaching, but because there were some seriously hateful undertones. People continue to keep you out because you made it fairly clear fairly quickly about the views you held.

Changing your tune now sounds exceptionally unlikely, and disingenuous. Compounded with your repeated attempts to evade bans you've made it apparent you don't respect boundaries. Ban evasion is taken seriously here.

Until you can demonstrate genuine change, and a genuine desire to follow the rules we've all agreed to on this platform you will find no home here.

You seem lonely. I hope that improves for you in time.

[maric]

This is your problem. I'm done now.

Read the latest entry: http://manesa.dreamwidth.org/

Plus what I said to another user:

Listen to me please. I know a lot of you are queer on here. I'm trying to save your fucking lives.

Black people are getting sent to Africa.

Mexicans are getting sent home.

It's gonna be a white fucking America for the pale and straight. EUROPE TOO. Do you understand?

Gays and Lesbians and Trans are getting sent to Africa or China as a choice. -_- Read my latest entry.

Because I might get my head cut off for this. Do you understand? You are so mean, and rude and ignorant toward me and I'm trying to help. I wasn't trying to ruin your reputations. I was trying to get you to stop slashing for awhile to protect yourselves. I wanted to go down with you if I had to. All of you. Insane was good to me for years.

It was a crazy method, yes, but dude, it's called the Tower of Babel experiment.

*hangs head.* See ya, man. Hopefully you don't have to go.

P.S I'm stuck at a facility for whites, when I am mixed race. I am constantly in danger. I'm surrounded by the KKK. =( You don't think I love gays and blacks and everyone else? Come on, man. Be realistic here.

[maric]

I stopped being trans to save people. People are in my head and they don't realize it. I read minds continuously. Am I crazy? Maybe.

Stopping being gay and trans helped others hide too. I'm actually a man in a woman's body and I decided fuck it, we'll change back now. It's a long complicated thing, but the western states were going to abolish blacks, gays, trans and lesbians from their countries. You were going to be sold as slaves technically. I am not delusional or crazy.

My Aunt started this shit. She was part of the KKK. I had to destroy her. SeeD had to be saved.

[whisperingvoid]

Wow. None of that was even remotely on topic. This has nothing to do with being gay or trans and everything to do with... Well honestly this.

If you can't even keep a conversation on track, how do you expect to play in a collaborative writing hobby with other people? No one wants to try to write against someone who goes off on tangents about the KKK in the middle of a thread.

SO let's recap why no one wants to play with you:

1: You don't follow the rules

2: No sense of personal accountability

3: No respect for boundaries

4: Unable to stay on track and write coherently

5: History of anti-LGBT sentiments, followed sudden and unreliable turn around. Suspicious and likely manipulative behavior.

[maric]

One more thing; this facility won't let the old get cleaned up. They won't help them. They're short-staffed mostly. They need more help.

They also have my real card, which has lots of money on it and won't let me have it until I get up and lose weight. =<o My cousin Per has it but they make me see him as a old man possibly? I'm stuck here until the 29 of March. Want to know why? My mom does snuff. I think. She's getting depowered. You already know who my mom is. =( She wanted Jesus support for snuff. Whew, I swear, world. Get better okay? I love you.