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[maric]

First entry? Maric, intersex/trans and can't wait to get help with this stuff. I already had a lot but just a little more.

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[whisperingvoid]

You can't even decide who I am. I'm starting to think you're only getting worse.


No, Mandy, leave us alone at Dreamwidth and InsaneJournal. You're not wanted, go away.

Why do you keep coming back?

[maric]

Dear Stephanie,
Listen to me. I'm not you and you're not me. You, my sister, Eric Henson and my mother stole my personality. I used to be a happy bubbly and outgoing guy like Zack Fair. I was a goofball. For some reason I stopped being a man like I had been most of my life and became an emotionless twat for some reason. Why? Were you making sure that happened? All I did was laugh at things and feel nothing. I couldn't even fall in love.

I'm an INFJ/EMPATH. So people often steal my personalities and try to make me the shell of a person I used to be. I'll post videos now. I'm so sad for old friends and family that want to do this to me. I've been put in the hospital several times and told I'm experiencing psychosis, when I'm sound of mind.

*hangs head.* I'm sorry for being in everyone's heads. I don't know why I am. It's driving me nuts, no one will shut up. I don't think I'm jesus, or God, but everyone's imitating me like I am. u.u People drain me of my emotions, so no one finds out I'm a living breathing person who thinks, feels and has hobbies. People tried killing my spirit several times over. I've tried having hobbies, but for some reason I can't muster up the energy to do them.

Stephanie, baby. I love you. Please stop doing this to me and yourself. Please? You're not emotionless, you were just kinda ornery. You need professional help and therapy. Medicine, find yourself. You were quiet, shy, backwards, a book worm. I was outgoing, flirty, loud, goofy. The only difference here is you became a soldier and I became a secret police officer. You broke down my heart, my soul, my spirit and stole my personality.

You put people in my head using spiritism. Your mom did it before the fiasco of 2008/2009 where I was forced to cause trouble online. Meeting your satanic family was the worst thing that ever happened to me. Eric Henson. You're soul is and face is a beautiful thing, try and change. Okay? Be yourself. Find yourself. Go on a journey. I want to be myself again. I want to be a man again, and be my damn self.

I love the name Eric mostly because of the little mermaid. My bestfriend Fell at the time brought up a way for me to keep my name without fully changing it from Mandy. I said I need a compound name or something like hat, she said what about Eric! I said no, I knew an Eric. She said What about Mandy and Eric, Maric. I didn't even bat an eye, I hadn't had a crush on you since 3rd grade. so I said I love Maric! That's pretty neat.

So I started living as a boy. Even so, before then, noted something sad. YOu were in my head all the time. I would go a long time without thinking of you, and would end up thinking of having sex with you at random. I didn't think of sex like that. I'd be like where did that come.

Also, do you know why I told you I love you that day? On the phone? And started crying? Girls were planning on turning you into a town bicycle. You were the prettiest boy there, and no one cared about your intelligence like I did. You were my bestfriend, in m heart. I wanted to be your fake girlfriend in order to keep girls from raping you basically. We were part of a military town and everyone knew military telepathy. I knew it too, I was a powerful little mentalist and I wanted to protect you. I love dyou so much, you were like my brother. I knew what you were going through at home. I cared deeply. I still do to a point.

You have to stop this now. I love you. Stop destroying my life. Let me get up and walk, let me get up and piss, let me get up and run around.

I love your face, because you're you. Yuo're you now, but please exit my head and continue being you. Try being a bookworm again, among other things.
Let me lose weight. Let me be a boy. We part now. I'll miss you. I love you. You're my bestfriend. I did this so you could cope with your family's evil bullshit. Don't die, keep getting help. You can change.

Fiona. Get the fuck away from us, I'm hoping we can cuddle at least someday. He may not want me big, but I'm his mom from now on. You fucking evil twat. I hate you. You're a disgusting human being.

Eric. Come live with me, come home. Stop being homeless if you are. You're not what your mother said. You're nothing like your father. I promise, you're a beter and beautiful man. You're not a serial killer, as far as I know. I've looked into your eyes, and I've seen pain, not a man who wants to kill. I don't care if you were part of the military or not, I have been too. We've done some heinous shit. I've cried over it.

Don't kill yourself. You're my person. Okay? We don't have to have sex or anything. You're my best bud. Okay, big buddy?

Give my mom, Rhonda, a hug. We had to save you. We love you so much. You always felt like part of the family. Come make me Amanda Henson, I'll stay a girl for you if that's what you want. And if you're with anyone, it's okay, I'll back off. I just want you okay, baby. <3 Okay?