(no subject)

Fine, asshole. Up to you: venality has been yoinked. If I suddenly can't get in my damn Seifer journal, I'll be pissed. All I'm saying. I'm pissed. I said stay away.

Remember, Squall grew up. Did you have fun digging through my old stuff? Just sayin. Tee-Hee, that story was bomb and you know it. *holds up mirror to your face.* That's you, buddy. Have fun with the jesus journal.

You know, more character talk. Venality is so me until everyone forgives and moves on. Can I stop being a social pariah now?

Eventually I'll start talking like myself. Later.

or would you prefer strangevision The answer is no. Ah, fuck it, you can have it if you're a Selphie-mun.

I'm reopening herotrials on insane, with any character sexuality available. Deal with it.

(no subject)

<_< http://herotrials.insanejournal.com/1689.html Let's mosey. Because I'm a little Cloud right now and I need some escapism. o_o

(no subject)

I'm...not sure. But I was told I was raped when I was 13, and since then I've disassociated. I was raped orally at 14 too. 13 has more holes than 14. I've been raped all my life. Mentally, physically and even spiritually. I don't even know where to begin, but everyone turned against me for being a good person. Everyone hates me for no reason. They steal various parts of my personality. They all turn on me. They even steal my journal names, and my e-mails.

At the end of this, ...I'm just me. Mars. No one will leave me alone. People mentally, emotionally and physically abuse me constantly. They know who I am, they know I'm jesus or someone like him and they end up trying to stop me from saving the world. I'm not delusional. I'm a good person.

They try to make me call them my g, when my Heavenly Father actually is. not on Earth. I'm so scared of sex it's ridiculous. I want a meaningful, healthy relationship, with someone. Everyone has been trying to kill me all my life. Which is why I isolated myself. If I die, Jehovah ends up killing everyone that tried to hurt me, which is a lot of people on Earth. I don't want that, I want everyone to live. I want everyone to be happy and live forever in paradise.

Please just... stop. Okay? Stop. Let me have an escape. The world doesn't last long unless I preach. Please, stop.

I've been proving how much I love these people despite how much they shit on me. I can't do this anymore. I just want to be happy, have an escape and get lost in someone else's headspace for awhile. Please, don't do this to me. I want to be happy. I want to be happy.

Go on youtube, watch videos on being an INFJ/EMPATHY, naricissists cling to me, hurt me and won't let me go. They hurt me until I'm bled dry and begging for mercy. I can't take it anymore. I cant't.

I love you the most. Okay? Please don't hurt me anymore. I love you the most. I'm not outing who you are. I'm just not. You … you kept giving me reactionary therapy through pictures. You kept saying 'Don't worry. Squally loves you.' You kept saying 'I'm not him, and I kinda am. You're not her and you kinda are. Greatest romance of a lifetime huh?' I'm sorry I kept denying you. I love you. I'm sorry. Please be okay? Please? Then you kept saying 'You'd do something like this if you could.' While popping out of that stupid bag. If only I was that small, right?

I wish I had read that cookbook. I'm a dumb. You're the most beautiful man I've ever seen and I actually know who you are as a person. Mr. Cameron Slogoski. It's okay if you deny me. Mars is used to that. Everyone denies my reality.

I let you go before, but it's up to you if you show up.

Audrian, Pookie and all other evil people get lost. Apparently you made me piss myself and be dirty so much, that I had a crouch full of mill worms. *feels so ashamed and grossed out.* I've been disgraced. Literally. Please stay away. I'll never feel worthy of anyone now. Never.

(no subject)

You know what Rinoa was absolutely sure of? Squall, The European, would be the one to kill her at the end of this. He would keep dishing out orders to her identifinitely until she went nuts.

Irvine the American, would protect her.

As would Zell, he would go against orders.

Seifer, The Japanese, would take care of her in the end and she would love him for life. She'll get better, don't worry.

Why is this happening? I'm not a sorceress. I've always been this. I've never hurt anyone, until they've hurt me. For some reason my powers activated and I was under the control of the real sorceress. Erica Gomez. She wanted Squall or some shit or Seifer, I don't know. She's been controlling me since I met her at fifteen, as has everyone else. To make me an emotionless twat. They even made me hurt a child, so I could get in trouble and be isolated in fear for the rest of my life.

Cole Sprouse (The real Deling) is the Fluud by the way. Just sayin.

I never pressured anyone, I was always sweet and kind, trying to help without pressure. I could be a bit pushy, but I waited in the wings until they truly wanted it.

My mom has millions of dollars, she hasn't given me a dime. Erica made me overspend my monthly checks every single time. I couldn't help pay bills, or anything. I was selfish like her. =( Erica Gomez is actually Valinda Wilson. My cousin, who hates me so much. Because I kept trying to help her be less selfish and help her family more. And her son, Scotty, fell in love with me. Not my fault. I promise. I took care of Scotty, and I'm sorry. I made him and Deej my little brothers. She molested them quite a lot, and I kept them away from her. It was my moms and I. We tried really hard to make sure they weren't hurt, we had to help Big Scott. Valinda was a better telepath and he was constantly freaking out about how to take care of his sons.

I'm sorry. My sweetness, was drowned because they were nothing like me and they were...envious. I don't even like admitting that. I just don't. I don't want anyone jealous/envious of me. I promise.

Scotty = Seifer.
Deej/Chris = Zell.
Dylan Sprouse = Irvine
Squall = Audrian
Edea/Matron = Mandy
Valinda = Ultemicia
Quistis = Donna.
Selphie = Holly/Pam.
Rinoa = Mandy/Cookie
Cid = Shawn.
Nida = Robert/Jacob
Xu = Pookie


EVERYONE'S A CHARACTER! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *crazy Rinny stare.* Guess what? Stop it. I'm good at every damn character I play besides Damon Salvatore. Suck it.

*Collapses on the ground.* Even my own family hates me. =/ Men raped me mentally, physically and spiritually in my family, even emotionally.

(no subject)

People in the military, especially celebrities made me a doublespoke mentally. This is where I Can't use my brain properly and I'm talking in riddles. Now you know Axel was being controlled by Marluxia. Sorry, Japan, I gotta. Gackt, stop this shit, buddy.

Sasuke and Itachi were in cahoots together. Itachi lives this time I think. Sasuke might not.

OF course, they're all going to deny this. Do you understand? I'm fucking disgraced because of this shit and I want to be a man after this, no more womanhood shit. I tried helping you all.

Leave my family alone. They'd never hurt me. =/ Humanity; you're fucking nuts. If I stop loving you, I get a little woozy but otherwise there's quite more than a few of you I love. Beware, if my love stops. =/ Beware. My Dad already dislikes you.

And Cole, I'm proving what a fucking turd you are. Idiot.

I need a nap.

(no subject)

1. I am male.

2. I am single.

3. I consider myself somewhat inhibited when talking about sex.

4. When talking with patients, I anticipate I will be (uncomfortable) talking about their sexuality and sexual practices.

5. When talking with my patients, I anticipate I will be comfortable discussing (libido) (sex toys) (STDs) (abstinence) (erectile dysfunction/lubrication problems) .

6. Has a physician ever asked you about your sexuality or sexual practices? (yes)

7. I currently have sex approximately (never) .

8. I (have never) had sexual intercourse?

9. I (have never) engaged in oral sex, giving or receiving.

10. I (have) (have never) engaged in anal sex, giving or receiving.

11. I have used (nothing) as part of my sex life.

12. I think that sex is a (very important) part of people’s lives.

13. I find it (hard) to talk about sex and my needs with my partner(s).

14. I masturbate (less than monthly)

15. I (have not) noticed “going blind” or “hairy palms” from masturbating.

16. I (have) had intimate or sexual contact with a same sex partner.

17. I (have) had fantasies about sexual contact with someone of the same sex.

18. I have romantic feelings for people (both) .

19. I am (hmmmm….) with my sex life.

20. I (have never) combined alcohol or drugs with sexual activity.

21. I (have not) consented to having sex with someone and regretted it afterward.

22. I (have) had an unwanted sexual experience.

#23: I (did not) tell anyone.

24. As a child before the age of 14, I (was) the victim of an adult’s sexual advances, which included physical contact.

25. I (have) had problems maintaining lubrication or erection at least once.

26. I (have) had problems having an orgasm too soon, too late, or not at all.

27. I (have) faked an orgasm.

29. At some point in my life, I (have not) wished there were someplace confidential and knowledgeable where I could go to discuss my feelings about sexuality.

30. I (have not) lied while answering one or more of this questionnaire’s questions.